Grief or deep sorrow has always been with
us and now has taken a new turn in the wake of the Corona Virus pandemic.
In the past during war
time, epidemics natural upheavals, we or our ancestors have had
to face similar experiences.
Perhaps not as
severe as now. Grief, like breathing will be a permanent aspect of the human condition.
Loss of life of a near and dear one and of friends are the biggest causes for grief. We read about
millions of deaths every day. More in some countries, less in others. We grieve even for the unknown. We
grieve for humanity at large.
Grief strikes us unannounced
Difficult to turn it around
Days turned into
pitch darkness
Nights a nightmare of hopeless starkness.
Time is a big healer they say. How long
does one have to wait to get healed is the question. A person in grief obviously needs help. This help can come
directly or indirectly. Direct help can come from people who
know the person. Indirect help comes from people who hear about the person`s
condition. Friends and relatives can do much to alleviate the
condition. Here is a person through his or her grief sees the world ending. This is of course a false
notion, an illusion. Many of us have overcome grief at one time or other. If we have had this experience then we
are in a good position to help. Overcoming grief works like a vaccine. It prepares the mind and
body to handle and cope with grief. We would not have lived in this world fully if we had not learned to
cope with grief.
Friends have to make the first move. The
grieving person will not be able to do it. Grieving is a
temporary phenomena. For some it might take a
little longer but it does not last. Friends can weaken
the grip of grief. There is more to life
than grieving. Grieving takes place when one is focused on one
aspect of life, one incident, A shift in
attention is called for.
Help the person direct his or her attention to something else. Something that was of
interest to the person or even something new. Help the person to move into that field. Engage the person
intellectually and draw him or her out gradually.
This may take some time. Patience and
persistence are needed. Above all kindness and love have to be showered on the person.
Friendship cannot be bought
They always help stop the rot
Swift timely action
Brings a favorable reaction.
Let us become front liners in the battle
for grief. Once a front liner, always a front liner could be our
motto. One not only for grief but for other
challenges as well. When we look around us we see
conditions that could be made better. We
usually leave these to authorities or others to attend to. A
front liner could make the first move. This
could be the way forward for social reforms. It is already
happening and only needs little a push.
Indirectly, one can give helpful
suggestions. The internet and Facebook contain uplifting stories of
people in worse conditions who have risen
from the dumps. We could use a little sense of humour.
Humour leads to laughter and laughter is
the best medicine there is. We are built to cope with distress.
Within us we have all the tools to cope
with grief. Grief is a primer in life and forges a tougher person.
There would be other challenges in life. If
we can cope with grief we would also be able to cope with
the
others. Here is a chance to be a front liner not just for grief but for other
challenges as well. Many more are yet to come, we can be sure of
that
No man is an island
Take a common stand
Humanity must support humanity
Unity overcomes calamity.
No man is an island as the saying goes.
Being a loner never helps. Hold the other person`s hand tight and let
us show we are always there for them. As the song goes, “little things mean a
lot”. In an
earlier essay we had tried to find out more
about enjoying life. Grief is its opposite, the other side of the coin. Bad experiences do not last, they
open up for the better with time. We need to be patient. Reach deep down for inner strength. Do not be
swayed by wild thoughts.
M P Prabhakar
2.5.20
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