Grief

Grief or deep sorrow has always been with us and now has taken a new turn in the wake of the Corona Virus pandemic. 

In the past during war time, epidemics natural upheavals, we or our ancestors have had

to face similar experiences. 

Perhaps not as severe as now. Grief, like breathing will be a permanent aspect of the human condition. 

Loss of life of a near and dear one and of friends are the biggest causes for grief. We read about millions of deaths every day. More in some countries, less in others. We grieve even for the unknown. We grieve for humanity at large.

                                                       Grief strikes us unannounced

                                                       Difficult to turn it around

                                                       Days turned into pitch darkness

                                                       Nights a nightmare of hopeless starkness.    

Time is a big healer they say. How long does one have to wait to get healed is the question. A person in grief obviously needs help. This help can come directly or indirectly. Direct help can come from people who know the person. Indirect help comes from people who hear about the person`s condition. Friends and relatives can do much to alleviate the condition. Here is a person through his or her grief sees the world ending. This is of course a false notion, an illusion. Many of us have overcome grief at one time or other. If we have had this experience then we are in a good position to help. Overcoming grief works like a vaccine. It prepares the mind and body to handle and cope with grief. We would not have lived in this world fully if we had not learned to cope with grief.

Friends have to make the first move. The grieving person will not be able to do it. Grieving is a

 temporary phenomena. For some it might take a little longer but it does not last. Friends can weaken

the grip of grief. There is more to life than grieving. Grieving takes place when one is focused on one

aspect of life, one incident, A shift in attention is called for. 

Help the person direct his or her attention to something else. Something that was of interest to the person or even something new. Help the person to move into that field. Engage the person intellectually and draw him or her out gradually.

                                                                                  

This may take some time. Patience and persistence are needed. Above all kindness and love have to be showered on the person.

          

                                                     Friendship cannot be bought

                                                     They always help stop the rot

                                                      Swift timely action

                                                      Brings a favorable reaction.

Let us become front liners in the battle for grief. Once a front liner, always a front liner could be our

motto. One not only for grief but for other challenges as well. When we look around us we see

conditions that could be made better. We usually leave these to authorities or others to attend to. A

front liner could make the first move. This could be the way forward for social reforms. It is already

happening and only needs little a push.

Indirectly, one can give helpful suggestions. The internet and Facebook contain uplifting stories of

people in worse conditions who have risen from the dumps. We could use a little sense of humour.

Humour leads to laughter and laughter is the best medicine there is. We are built to cope with distress.

Within us we have all the tools to cope with grief. Grief is a primer in life and forges a tougher person.

There would be other challenges in life. If we can cope with grief we would also be able to cope with

 the others. Here is a chance to be a front liner not just for grief but for other challenges as well. Many more are yet to come, we can be sure of that

                                            

                                              No man is an island

                                              Take a common stand

                                              Humanity must support humanity

                                              Unity overcomes calamity.

                                                                        

No man is an island as the saying goes. Being a loner never helps. Hold the other person`s hand tight and let us show we are always there for them. As the song goes, “little things mean a lot”. In an

earlier essay we had tried to find out more about enjoying life. Grief is its opposite, the other side of the coin. Bad experiences do not last, they open up for the better with time. We need to be patient. Reach deep down for inner strength. Do not be swayed by wild thoughts.

M P Prabhakar

2.5.20

Enjoying Life

Enjoying Life

We spend a lot of our time engaged in various activities, at work and in play. Some of these are out

of necessity and not because we enjoy doing them. Others we enjoy doing because they are satisfying.

Listening to music, going for a walking, admiring nature. We admire the sunrise in the eastern sky and a crimson sunset as the sun dips below the horizon. Changing seasons from heavy rains to spring with a burst of flowers.

With the smell of damp earth and foliage our senses get elated.  We spend time reading, writing,

using the internet. In our younger days, we would have played games like tennis, badminton, football and rugger. As we grow older, we tend to drift into armchair viewing of games on the television. Games shows are now big industry. Life seems to be an unending chore for the housewife, washing clothes, cooking and cleaning.

Seeking pleasure is man`s favorite past time. There are so many ways of seeking worldly pleasures. If everyone makes a list of the pleasures they seek, it would make interesting reading. As one grows older these pleasures change. Pleasures range from the sublime right through to the debased. How one is oriented to the pleasure principle shapes one`s life. But all is not as rosy as it seems. We have chores to do in daily life. These chores keep increasing and can become overwhelming. There is no joy any longer, just one chore after another.

Let us take a closer look at the pleasure principle. What we have described above as pleasures are mundane pleasures. Yes, there are levels of pleasures, from the erotic to the sublime. There is no need to go into the details of these. We can work it out from our own experiences. The key to happiness is twofold. First we need to make it a habit to enjoy the higher kinds of pleasures. What are these higher kinds? Pleasure that do not evoke wild emotions, making one tense and restless. We need to choose pleasures that are soothing and calming. Each one of us has to search for such experiences. It is not all that difficult. The converse of this is pain. Pleasure  contains the seed for pain and vice versa. We tend to look for pleasures from external things. These are short lived. If one wants to be happy it has to come from an internal source.

The second step is to sublimate what we call chores. It is our attitude towards tasks that creates this problem. A chore when done with full attention no longer becomes tedious. It is a satisfying thing to do. Even when doing something ordinary like washing up can become an uplifting experience when full attention is given. As we get used to this way our chores get reduced. A task well done becomes reward in itself as the poem below illustrates:

                                          A task becomes a pleasure

                                          With full attention in good measure

                                          More rewarding in doing than in accolades

                                          In perpetual happiness one can wade.       

We see the world mainly through our senses, the eyes see, ears hear, fingers feel, tongue tastes. For many of us. It stays at the level of the mind, one step above the senses. The mind revels in this kaleidoscope of impressions. We get stuck in this world view and believe in what we see. Very few of us have gone further in exploring higher possibilities. To lift oneself up one has to realize that for our senses to function an inner power is needed. This power is the enabler. Without it our senses will not work. There are a few helpful things we can do.

Always pay full attention when doing something. Calm the mind. Use the mind, do not let it use us. Be in full control. Have discipline using one’s intellect. The intellect has the power to discriminate senses received and evaluate them. Overriding all these is our intuition, what we call a gut feeling. Intuition is a more reliable ally. There is a gradual progression from sense reactions to intuition. These habits have to be cultivated. We start from where we are and move up the scale. Things do not end here interestingly.

Intuition flowers into wisdom. A calm mind makes way for wisdom. It is clear by now that we are

not our body or our senses. Through these steps we begin to experience our real self. We need not

be too bogged down by these intricacies of the mind and intellect. How they work is a mystery. We rely on what others tell us. When the mind is in overdrive thinking of this and that, one cannot be calm. The mind wanders to the past and to the future, planning and scheming. If the mind concentrates on just this moment, we have a better chance to gain calmness. At this very moment there are no problems. The mind has nothing to worry about. Sit quietly in your favorite place and breathe evenly. With practice we will find the mind calms down.  Something new takes place. There is contentment, peace a feeling of indescribable bliss different from the happiness we had been used to. Bliss cannot be described in words. We have to experience it ourselves. This condition is the key to enjoying life. A drastic change in mindset is called for. Virtues have to be embraced and practiced daily. We need to wear a garland of virtues all the time. This will remind us to put them into practice at every opportunity. Here is a list of some virtues. You could add to it of course.  Caring, Loving (people, nature), Giving, Helping, Good thoughts, Good deeds, Kindness, Non Violence, Patience, Gratitude, Humility, Accepting the Will of a Higher Power. 

                                                          Respect with a flower garland

                                                          A garland of virtues, excellence it sends

                                                          Worn always, it shows the way

                                                          You would have nothing more to say.        

Again, live simply. A few simple steps if practiced by us could achieve this.

1    Enjoy the simple things of life in food, passions and pleasures.

2    Dwell in your current reality. Do not try to create a new reality. The current reality is real and you have to deal with it with whatever you already have.

3   Do not get lured into fantasy and live in a dream world. There are enough surprises and rewards waiting for you in nature.

Happiness is our birth right. We are created to live happily and in bliss. If we are not, it is in our own making.

Where did we go wrong and how can we put it right. We have the tools to put it right. Let us use them.  Our happiness lies in our own hands.

If you feel this message has been helpful, please pass it on.

Wishing you happiness always.

M P Prabhakar

17.4.20

Captive Animals

To be free, we can see
For man, animals a birthright just as for me
The roaming tiger, elephants foraging
The seagull gliding, deer running.


Sadly these only in the wilderness
For urban folk without access
So we set up zoos
For us, something to do.


In captivity, pacing to and fro
Eyes blank, spirits low
People come to stand and stare
At them in their new lair.


Rare animals to see
Even if no longer free
Wonder and curiosity
To experience such rarity.


Two sides to a coin
Where does one draw the line?
Many reasons for captivity
Curiosity and. to preserve species in rarity.

Animal rights advocates think otherwise
Zoos for any purpose are unwise
No wild animal should be kept captive
With persuasion and slogans active.

Restless in captivity, listless and with rage
In the confines of a cage
Rage, listlessness, fear also in humans
In similar conditions amply proven.

Let animals be wild and free
As they would like to be
With visual technology we can see
Animals as they should be.

People in distant parts
Now no longer apart
On to our screen
Everything can be seen.

The Golden Fruit

In a blissful state, walking in a Malaysian palm oil estate
Fronded leaves a leafy tunnel make
Moss, ferns in the morning rays, lush deep green
If this one has seen, so much all this mean.


Once with rubber, this way the land made to cover
Rubber trees tower, arousing wonder
But things change, in ways strange
Turning a new page, with a new image.


A long story, no cause to be sorry
Oil palm replacing rubber, rising to glory
Batang Berjuntai, Tennamaram Estate
Oil palm changed rubbers state.


Frenchman, Henri Fanconnier, an oil palm pioneer
With vision and mission, the palm made to steer
The world`s second largest producer, with a high turnover
2017, marking its 100th year.

From cooking oil to ingredients
In almost any foodstuff for nourishment
Seen in supermarkets the world over
Oil palm ingredients improving flavours.

Feeds billions of people world wide
A very popular vegetable oil
Natures` gift to Malaysia all told
Malaysia`s gift to the world.

Crop quality improved
With research quality proved
A climate compatible, much was possible
With water and sunlight, growing crops affordable.

Sabah, Sarawak went under oil palm
Planters welcomed the palm, with a warm welcome
With this boom, anxiety also loom
The Anti Palm Oil campaign threatening doom.

Embarked on scientific study
With facts and figures ready
To counter adverse publicity
With full accountability.

Research in genetics, palm and oil quality
With an eye on affordability
Mechanization helped to reduce
Plantation costs for higher produce.


Every part of the oil palm has a use
This way, costs could reduce
Biofuel from palm oil produced
As hydrocarbon substitute introduced.


In a competitive environment
Creditable certification important
First country to produce a certification
With global experts made a declaration.


From 50% poverty reduced
To 5% this venture produced
An agricultural revolution
Through firm guided resolution.


Pioneers of the industry
Tell a capturing story
Tan Sri Dr Augustine Ong, Tun Dr Lim Keng Yaik
Tan Sri Borge Bek-Nielson and many others working tirelessly

MPP
3.5.2017

Pain Without Pain

How could this be possible, sounds impossible?

Wishful thinking, even laughable

The strangest things happen

For some a strong weapon.

In illness body, muscle, joint pains

Pains and aches giving us a strain

There is a way, from pains to stay

A helpful way like a curing ray.

Look just at this moment

To save further torment

Don`t make pain your story

A constant cause for worry.

Just this moment be alert

To things around, attention divert

Your present situation includes pain

Just observe and feel, don`t think and strain.

In the now, pain reduced in intensity

Its sharpness reduced in sensivity

Remove thinking keep only feeling

Sense your feeling, leads to healing.

 

In this deep state of oneness

A strong sense of bliss

Pain becomes nothing, part of everything

A new reality, your soul reclaiming.

With this hidden secret

Will have no regrets

Try it for yourself, see what happens

Use this as your prized weapon.

Someone I Admire

Always calm and cool, mostly as a rule

When everything falls apart, still keeping cool

Battering of all kinds, worry and sorrow together

All this still able to weather.

What is the secret hidden, deep in woven?

With a nature so given, in life well proven

A rare quality, an admirable ability

Not given to probability.

Two realities together, a worldly reality

Also an inner deep reality

Both together, any storm can weather

Never ever seen to falter, a true sign of a Master.

Immersed in both, allowing for growth

Leaning more to the inner, proving its worth

With earthly gains, not seeking fame

May earn a name, but will remain the same

To others a beacon, will not be trampled

Be like this person, a fine example

An agent of change, things she can arrange

In calmness immersed, life smoothly managed.

A living Master, never falters

Life smooth and calm, nothing to alter

With a helping hand, an admirable stand

Enriching this land.

A person I so much admire

With a mission to aspire

This could be anyone

You could be this one.

MPP

6.5.2017